BJ's Bestseller
Was checking out at BJ's and saw this end cap. This joke writes itself. BJ's Bestseller - "Hard Choices", by Hillary Clinton
BJ's Bestseller - "Hard Choices", by Hillary Clinton
Lost in Google Voice Translation
It turns out Google Translate isn't that accurate, but when you read back to it the transcript, it's gets nearly every word on the second translation.
“I’ve babbled long enough...”
My sister just left me a really long voice mail. This is nothing out of the ordinary, we are generally known for leaving long rants about nothing on each others phones. I always look forward to listening to them because they are highly entertaining, and I know it's probably just me, but I save every one.
You can listen to the latest message she left below, and the corresponding voicemail transcript provided by Google, which is a rather enjoyable read, and the reason for this post.
Original Voice mail
Listen to the original voice mail below:
Google Voice Transcript
Read what Google thought she was saying below and notice, Google didn't miss that she was indeed babbling.
“Just wanna Williams was supposed to pick up so I can tell you about my idea for a short film. It’s returning to give you the Red Sox. And you were still alive. Catching everywhere Lyon standing along one week returning only for that dollar charge you don’t want yeah do that just happened in the industry it entertaining. Or, could be harvest interpreting I don’t know, struck a hold of done it before but it’s like 15 minutes to the movies still in line tanika price, right. Have a red light. That I stand there behind the Spanish only has no idea what she’s doing an estimate for Dr. I’ll talk to you soon. Excuse me another tonight, okay. I thought about it. I love the best. That’ll be established. I would act, act on how yeah. Pat and damn movie connect walk away from machine about 5 minutes yup. I was not just now. You like that you’re gonna laugh. I know that. So, and then the guy after that, went to the somewhere else. I should easily do opinion from you. I just returned a movie. Ultimately charge 30 dollar I can, Hello right now. When you talk to you, but I didn’t. Hey, anyway patient like. Like I was super quack. I’m like ohh my gosh will refill next door, being sarcastic. Of course, as you can get my job leave it all. I will lead line. You know that they’re not sonographer that it’s not worth explaining Yeah, returning to the studio, behind you and I need to know we way we gonna take you to help to finance. I believe me so long as she just wants to hotmail, alright Yeah, you digest. I had fun I’ll be able to do is come all the way and I think I’m taking like you know. It’s a fact airline just thinking this is a good short sale of the good and everything or something anyway. I babbled long enough, hopefully listen the alright later bye.”
The transcript was so off the mark, it was hilarious. It read so weird and creepy and disjointed. Exactly like my sister! Google knows everything! So, I had my sis call back and leave the Google transcript version on my voice mail as well. I was hoping it would translate it back to the original...but just listening to the nonsense had me on the floor laughing, so here it is for your enjoyment.
Voice mail of the Transcript
My sister leaving the Google Transcript version on my voice mail.
And if you've gotten this far, here's a transcript of the transcript below, which is surprisingly VERY accurate.
Google Voice Transcript of the Transcript
It didn't translate it back like I had hoped, but it was much more accurate when you read what they thought you said originally.
“Just wanna Williams supposed to pick up so I can tell you about my idea for a short film. Thanks returning to give you the Red Sox and you were still alive Catching it were. Life in a long one week returning only for that, dollar charge you don’t want yet, do that just happened in the industry and entertained or could be harvest interpreting I don’t know who struggled of done it before but it’s like 15 minutes to the movies still online tanika price, right. Have a red light, and I stand behind the Spanish only has no idea what she’s doing an estimate for Dr. I’ll talk to you soon, excuse me another night okay. I thought about it. I love the that that’ll be established. I would act, act on how yet Pat and Dan movie connect walkway now machine about 5 minutes. The up. I was just not just now you like that you’re gonna laugh. I know that so and then the guy after that went to that somewhere else I should easily do opinion from you. So I just return the movie only charge 30 dollar I can. Hello. Right now we talk to you, but I didn’t. Hey, anyway peace of mind with comes to the black. I’m like ohh my gosh. We’ve still. Next door being sarcastic. Of course you can get my job leave it all. I’ll leave 9th. You know that they’re not sonographer that it’s not worth explaining yeah returning to the studio, behind you and I need to know we will be gone. I would like to do the helped finance. I believe me so long as she just wants the hotmail alright. Yet you digest. I had fun. I’ll be able to do, come all the way and I think I’m taking like you know, and the fact airline just thinking if this is a bit short sale of the good everything or something anyway. I have a long and hopefully within the alright later bye.”
Open Mic - Bethlehem Brew Works - 3.10.13
Below is my setlist from last nights open mic with a link to an audio version of the set.
My Nephew, Harley
Alphabet Accident
Charlie Brown
Drill Bit
Oscars Winners
The Matrix
On stage at Tickle Me Tryouts open mic
Open Mic - Bethlehem Brew Works - 3.3.13
Tonight felt really good to get up on stage. I tried something unusual tonight...I tried being funny! It actually worked out well. No actually, I tried standing still. I have this problem when I do comedy that I move around too much. Almost as if a guy is in the back of the room with a shotgun pointed at me. So tonight, I tried standing in one spot, using the mic stand as my fixture to lean on. I felt much more comfortable and at ease on stage. I will continue trying that and mixing it up with free style when the joke calls for it. Here is my setlist from tonight:
Applesauce
Plain Casket
Gyro
All State
Compassion
Coach Purse
Redbox
The Friendliest Dentist in Town
I know it's a dive, he doesn't have his Doctorate in Dental medicine and he pulls teeth with pliers....but he's SUPER nice! You have to give him a chance. Book your next cleaning here!
Quick tip: they can only see 1 patient at a time due to limited occupancy, so make your appointment in advance.
Go Go Gadget Website!
Hey there! This is my new website. It's a work in progress, so please pardon our appearance while I tidy up. I'm beta testing some new software, and decided my comedy site would be a fitting Guinea pig. Have a look around and feel free to drop me a line....of cocaine.